August 13, 2012

On Monday afternoon, I went in for my first regularly scheduled non stress test (something I find to be a bit of a misnomer). The nurse who runs the NSTs, Leigh, is a sweet and wonderful woman, and I'm so glad that she is also one of the lactation consultants. During the NST, I had a handful of contractions and we were unable to consistently have two distinct fetal heartbeats on the monitor, so my doctor (who was watching remotely) called and asked Leigh to send me to L&D for an ultrasound. Nick, from ultrasound, did not have the screen turned such that I could see it, but when he asked the nurse to call my doctor I knew there was a problem. I asked him if he was only able to find one heartbeat, and he answered "I'm sorry honey, but I'm not allowed to say anything." You could tell though, you know. It's hard to keep something like that off your face. The doctor called a couple of minutes later and explained that they were unable to find Keira's heartbeat. She arrived at the hospital a few minutes later and determined that I was going in to labor - I'm not sure if it was the emotional stress of losing Keira so close to the end of the pregnancy, or if my body was trying to get her out, or if my body was trying to save Owen.

Owen Thomas was born at 19:04, weighing in at a whopping 4.5 pounds and 16.5 inches. That's a whole lot of baby for 31 weeks, and I can't even imagine how big he might have been if he could have gone to term. He quacked a couple of times right after he was born, which was music to our ears. It was so reassuring to know that he already has some lung capacity. We did, however, joke about changing his name to Donald, because he really sounded like a duck. Oh, and he took the opportunity to pee all over the NICU crew. Atta boy!

Keira Lynn was delivered at 19:06, at 3.25 pounds and 16 inches. She shouldn't have hidden her face from us for so long, because she was absolutely beautiful. I wish everyone could have met her. She was so sassy in the womb and I'm sure she would've been such a handful, but so much fun. I will treasure the months I had with her forever.

Owen is currently on a vent, but breathing room air. They think they will be switching him from the vent to a vapotherm this afternoon, and we will hopefully be able to hold him tomorrow. He will probably need 3 to 6 weeks in the NICU, but he's doing very well. I can't wait to take him home, although I'm sure that will be a scary moment when we are suddenly responsible for him.

He has the most expressive little face, and it's hard not to mimic him when he furrows his brow or raises his eyebrows. The nurses are all in love with him because he's just so darned cute. My little ladies' man already.

I can't even put in to words how painful it is to lose Keira. At the same time, I am so overcome with joy over Owen. It's really difficult, oscillating between these two emotional extremes, but we're trying to focus on Owen and his health and happiness. He needs us right now, and he is the big bright spot that makes this situation livable.

Picture post to follow, once I can collect them all in one place. You guys gotta see this kid.