Santa Comes Through Big Time

Well, to be fair, it was Ellen Claus with the winning gift - a Lamaze Firefly. Seriously, Owen is so captivated with this toy. It's got so many things on it that we're still discovering new ones (I just found the white fuzzy ball on one of the wings this morning...wonder what I'll find tomorrow? And yes, I do let Owen play with it too). Santa's big ticket item was a bouncer. Owen's a few inches shy of being able to sit in it correctly, but seeing as one of his favorite activities these days is to be held in a standing position so he can march or bounce, I'm thinking this will be a big hit once he fits.

We're also, thanks to my cousins, taking advantage of Owen being born in the smartphone era. They came over Christmas with an app on their ipads called Talking Ginger - it's this cat that repeats everything you say and purrs when you pet the screen. Hannah kept Owen really entertained with this - he seems to like that it repeats him so perfectly, and gets really chatty with it. Finally, he's found someone who speaks his language! I have to imagine, based on how much he likes the app, that he and Keira would already be well on their way to making up a secret twin language by now.

Sorry for the short update - there's an overwhelming amount of material to cover, so I'm going to try to do it in little bits (otherwise, I'd probably never do it at all). And, Owen's got SOOO many new clothes, I need to spend some time with him and the camera :)

Happy New Year!

Happy 4 monthversary, Owen!

4 months old - banana added for scale

I'd say he's growing like a weed, but for one, it's cliche, and secondly, no one wants weeds. So, let's say he's growing like the flat parsley in the herb garden at our house in Broomfield - up, and out, and suddenly, and quickly, and always makes dinner more interesting.
 

5 days old

We're gearing up for the holidays here. Luckily, it's supposed to be cooler and maybe even rainy over the next couple of weeks, so we can pretend like it's actually winter. We put up the tree and lights last weekend, but haven't figured out yet where to put the stockings without a mantel. It's not like I haven't lived in houses without   fireplaces before, but I genuinely can not remember what we did with our stockings.

My folks get here on Sunday - I'm so excited to have them here. We all have a little bit of work to do still next week, but it's nothing that can't be done from a laptop while baking Christmas cookies :) I am wondering if Owen will get crunchy hair from Hagrid licks the same way the cats do...

Also, Colorado folks, Owen and I will be out the week of 21 January. Anyone been through LAX/DIA with a baby before? I was hoping to bring some frozen milk with me, but I'm not sure if it's worth the hassle at security. Anywho, it's a short visit and I will be working while I'm there, but we will make time to see everyone! (Sorry, by the way, for this line jumping so far to the left. I got really frustrated trying to format this page and gave up)

I'll admit, the main reason I'm inspired to write today is this video I took last night. Adam was reading to Owen, and I think Owen was "reading" back to him.

To make things even better - when I tested the video today after uploading it, Owen started it right back up!

How time flies

So uh, whoops, it's been a while. Let's get this rebooted by talking about poop. Owen's got this new schedule - he'll go 1-2 days without pooping at all, and then poop every hour for a day. The poor guy is just miserable during the constipation phase, and all smiles during the...ummm...cleansing phase. And it certainly keeps me busy!

In the last few weeks, Owen has really started interacting with the world more. He loves his playmat and has been reaching for toys. The other morning, he got all crazy for his pumpkin bib, and was happy as a clam when Adam handed it to him. He still loves to look at blinds, but other things are really starting to catch his attention now.

Like the sourdough recipe.

 He's got this great laugh. When he laughs in his sleep, it's this cute little giggle, but when he's awake - it's hard to describe - it's like a really loud inhale. Makes me think of Inward Singing.


I'm now in my third week back to work. Let me say, it has not been easy. I'm not working full time, but even still it can be tough to find the time to work around taking care of Owen. His morning nap tends to be pretty long and solid, but the afternoon is really a mess (especially if we're in one of the poop-every-hour days, heh). I am getting pretty good at typing one-handed though - I do a lot of coding out loud while I breastfeed, it's just as good as a book :)

Ah, and important stuff. Owen saw the cardiologist today, a follow-up since he had a patent ductus arteriosus. He has turbulence in the left branch of his heart, but it is very mild. The plan is just to check it again in six months. If it doesn't get better, the treatment is to inflate the vessels with a balloon, but the doctor seemed very confident that it will take care of itself. Owen absolutely charmed the nurse - he was all smiles and curiosity. At least, until the chest ultrasound - that was, in his opinion, the worst thing that ever happened, ever.

Oh and, he's up to 12.5 pounds. What a porker! As promised, here's Owen growing BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES!

Twas the Night Before Work

And all through the bedroom
A baby's stomach was rumbling, then all at once, a kaboom!

The diapers were stacked in the closet with care,
I hoped this butt explosion didn't mess up the chair.

Owen had been nestled all snug in my lap,
But visions of bottles couldn't hold off this crap.
With Adam in bed, and I in the nursery,
I'd hoped for a simple feeding at a quarter past three.

But out of Owen's butt arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the rocking chair to avoid the yellow matter.
Away to the changing table I flew with great haste,
Tore open the pj's and cleaned up the waste.

The moon shone softly through the bedroom window,
Back to bed! I thought, alas, but no.
When, what to my wondering ears should appear,
But another explosion! His insides were really in gear.

With a big bold odor, so lively and vast,
I thought for a moment it must be the last.
Oh so rapidly this diaper I changed,
And I whistled, and grimaced, and quietly sang:

"Now Owen! now, booty! now, stinky butt baby!
On wipe! On diaper! On pj's and blankie!
Back to our beds! Back to slumber with ease!
Now poop no more! Poop no more! Poop no more please!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from my son
The gurgles that meant that he wasn't yet done.
As I wondered why this shift had to be me,
Out of my kidlet came poop number three.

He clearly felt better, and was proud of himself,
And I laughed as I changed him, in spite of myself!
Being thrice diapered and his tummy empty,
It was time to finish this early morning feed.

I fed him, put him down, and kissed his little head,
Then wearily dragged myself back to bed.
When my head hit the pillow, the alarm gave its warning:
"Happy first day back to work, and to all a good morning!"

We're on the charts!

Backwards, right? Usually something exciting is OFF the charts. But, at Owen's check-up today, he weighed in at 10 pounds 13 ounces which puts him between the 10th and 25th percentile for weight. *edit - after talking to my mom this afternoon, I found out he's still 1/8" shorter than I was at birth, haha. granted, the length measurements are not taken in the most accurate manner* Previously, he's been well below even the 5th percentile, so this is pretty exciting - he's making a lot of effort to catch up. Developmentally, he's way ahead for a 2-week old (his adjusted age), but behind for an 11 week old (his actual age). Also, even though he was cleared in the NICU, his doc wants him to see a cardiologist - we'll meet him around Thanksgiving. I'm trying not to worry about it too much and figuring it's just a follow-up, and not anything to do with how long she listened to his chest today. He chatted the whole way through his exam, so hopefully it's just that she was having a hard time hearing over his commentary.

As an aside - the pediatrician (who I did not think of as "the vet" today) is terrible at putting on diapers. Every appointment so far, after she re-diapers him, he's peed out the top. Now I know it's not a fluke, and I'll discretely fix it after she steps out.

He wasn't nearly so relaxed about his shots this time around. It sucks that there's no way to explain to him that it's for his own good, and it's not even like he'd appreciate getting a toy or something to make up for such an un-fun doctor's visit.

The last couple of nights, Owen has made big strides towards sleeping through the night. He's cut out one of his middle-of-the-night feeds, but the poor guy gets terrible gas around 3 am and grunts and screams in his sleep unless we hold him upright. So while he may be mostly sleeping through the night, Adam and I sure aren't!

We're gonna start taking weekly pictures in (close to) the same pose to have a visual on Owen's growth. Here's #1, and I'll gif 'em once we have more than one.

Zindagi (Adam's company) had a Halloween party at the office this afternoon. We were a family of t-shirt costumes this year (no pics of me, but I joined Owen in the Justice League with my Superman shirt). Owen also has a bee costume this year from Nana. While he's unamused by it now, it's big enough that we can spend a few months convincing him that he likes it.

Buzz buzz. If you insist.

 

Zindagi kids.

To the Batmobile!

In other news, I'm headed back to work next week. Well, "headed back" isn't exactly accurate, as I'm working from home. I'm also dropping to 60% FTE - I don't think there's any way I could commit to full time and taking care of Owen without any help, especially considering he's developmentally behind. The extent of help I'll be getting is a babysitter if I need to call in to a meeting, so I can guarantee a couple of hours where I won't be needed. I feel a little bit like I've been shorted, since Owen spent the first half of my leave in the NICU. However, I'm really thankful that I've got the opportunity to work from home - I won't be missing any firsts due to work, and it erases the financial burden of any kind of day care (which is especially fortunate since we're still a little behind from unemployment and moving).

Things that Owen loves this week - reading, especially if you read ahead so you can look at him while you're talking; this song, and as long as you're there, this one made me laugh too; and window blinds, continuing his love of vertical stripes.

Dear Diary (K)

I've had a resurgence of grief in the last few days. It's almost like the closer we get to normal around here, the more I am aware of her loss. I'm sure part of it has to do with Halloween - we'd been trying to think of paired costumes since February. We toyed with Link and Zelda, and a picture I came across of a little girl as Link (although I imagine we would've had Owen be Link and Keira be Zelda!) made me lose it yesterday. As much as I have felt that it's not the right thing for me, I'm thinking I may look in to a support group - it's just tough to decide if I should find a group online, so I can keep it with me when we move back to CO, or something in person because I'm pretty starved for adult contact.

I've read about some other people's experiences with a lost twin, and I was surprised at how often I found an almost identical story (no pun intended? but they were fraternal anyway). One woman even had a similar writing style as me, so it was bizarre to read my own history, in my tone, with different names - down to the nurse who stayed with her from the moment they confirmed the death, and the pictures being taken too late. She and I even agreed that the people who try to pretend that the lost twin didn't exist - they won't mention her name, they won't ask how we're coping, they never even offer a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" - those people hurt (after rereading this, I figured I should clarify - it's not that we want you to ask about her every time we talk, but this is in regards to the folks who've ignored her existence since her death). I'm so thankful that for the most part, those close to us have not fallen in to that group. I know that it's an uncomfortable topic, and I really appreciate people having the strength, or compassion, or whatever quality it is to talk about her.

A number of families said that they were happy to have the opportunity to hold both of their twins at the same time. This is not something we were able to do, as Owen needed resuscitation shortly after being born and then was whisked away to the NICU. I wish I could've held them together, since I had carried them together for 6 months; I wish Adam could have held them together, since he didn't even get what I had.

And in every story, I see pressure to get over it quickly, as though having a surviving child means you don't get to mourn the lost one. It's so easy for others to just see us as new parents and forget that at the same time, we are grieving parents.

Sorry for being a debby downer. There's something refreshing about writing this down. Maybe I don't need that support group after all.

On a related note - while Owen was in the NICU, I learned about Australia's "R U OK?" day (http://www.ruokday.com/). Follow the link - I think it's a great movement. Not everyone has an outlet, so please take some time to ask someone you care about how they're doing, and then take the time to really listen to their answer.

And before anyone panics, I'm ok. Blue, but ok.

First, let me say, the moby was one of the best purchases I've ever made. Owen's upgraded to the regular hold (as opposed to the newborn hold) and he is so happy. I think I'll be able to credit the sling when I go back to work for letting me get anything done. He finally fits in his regular front carrier also, which I trust a little bit more when I really need to be hands free. The problem with that though is it takes two people to buckle it up, so that's more for family outings. And with both of these, since you can't bend over, I am building up some serious thigh muscles from doing squats.

Things that get smiles or mesmerize Owen these days (other than being held) - yellow, vertical stripes, sitting up against my legs while I do sit ups, petting Paul (with my assistance), dancing, and whistling. Also, at my cousin's request, I asked him this morning which hockey team he was going to be a fan of - he yawned at the Blackhawks, grunted and flailed at the Avs, and smiled at the Kings. Atta boy. He also briefly cared about his reflection and has started sort of holding toys, but he's not all that interested yet.

I've been a bit of a camera slacker, which I'm sure I will regret years down the line and I should remedy asap. All of my newest photos have cats in them, but I guess that makes them the best ones to post since the internet is 90% cat photos anyway.

Madison supervising tummy time.

Paul and Madison demonstrate the "play" part of a Pack N Play.

The Cotton Anniversary

In case anyone was curious, the 2nd anniversary is the cotton anniversary. This is something Adam and I didn't bother to look up until very shortly before we celebrated two years of marriage on Tuesday. The anniversary guide I found suggested - I kid you not - kitchen towels. We were total rebels and got each other silly t-shirts. I will have to update this later with photos, as Owen peed on Adam while he was wearing his new shirt, and it's far too warm for long sleeves today, so I can't wear mine. (Side note - I am very angry that it's October 14th and too warm for long sleeves. California sucks.)

We celebrated our second anniversary in style - with pizza delivery, a bottle of ice wine, and falling asleep on the couch to a movie we've seen a dozen times. Honestly, it was a pretty nice evening.

Owen and Courtney demonstrate the "I just got this and have no idea what I'm doing" hold.

In other news, I bought a sling this week for Owen. He loves being held so much that I figured he'd give a sling two chubby thumbs up. 100% correct on this one! I'm glad he likes it so much, because this really frees up my hands - or at least one hand - while I'm home alone.

And, how weird is this - today is Owen and Keira's due date.

Two...weeks

First, my apologies for being so slow on this post. To be perfectly honest, sitting at a computer long enough to do a post justice has just not been at the top of my to-do list in the last couple weeks.

Let's see...first, both cats have decided that Owen's ok.

A definite improvement from the initial "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?"

Paul is full of concern for him and likes to be able to see all family members at once - he has been spending a decent amount of time in the hall at night. Madison, while still taking some time to pout (and always making sure we see her doing it), actually gave Owen an affectionate rub. I guess we won't need to return him after all ;)

My mom was here for the last two weeks and I can't begin to express my gratitude. She was invaluable. Our fridge and freezer are full of leftovers and meal fixings, the house is clean, we're well rested, AND she found time to knit Owen a hat for the holidays (and a few pairs of slippers).

And it jingles! Is it December yet?

We even did Canadian Thanksgiving last night. It was great being able to spend his first couple weeks home pretty much just snuggling on the couch. I was actually a little intimidated because today is my first day home alone with Owen, but so far, so good. The scariest part yet was driving home from LAX without someone in the backseat to keep an eye on him, but we made it home just fine.

Pretty much how I spent the last two weeks.

Owen's now had two trips to the pediatrician (side note, I keep thinking "the vet" instead of "the pediatrician. I'm hoping that wears off eventually). He was up to just over 7.5 pounds last week - you can really feel the difference in him. He's got a lot more substance, which is great because he feels far less breakable. He also got his first round of vaccines at the last doctor visit. I think we have the NICU to thank for this - he took those shots like a champ. There was a baby going nuts over his shots in the room next to us, but Owen squeaked at the first two and pretty much shrugged off the third. Then again, maybe he was so comfortable because I got my flu shot first, to show him that it doesn't hurt that bad (ok, actually, for some reason this was one of the most painful vaccinations I've ever done, even a week later. But I put on a good face for Owen).

I've had a couple of people ask how my milk supply is - I'll let the picture do the talking.

No, this is not a mini freezer.

There are squeaks coming from the swing, so it sounds like my brief computer break is over. More to come.

Sometimes, the swing is good for snoozing rather than for squawking.

Our little family is complete

I am so happy to announce that Owen came home last night. I think the nurses, while obviously glad to see him go home, were a little sad to be losing the chance to see him every couple of days - he really was a favorite there.

Owen slept through the ride home, which is no surprise, I guess. I'm proud to say that I do not have the same problem with a baby in a car seat as I do with a cat in a cat carrier (cat in a box becomes just a box, right? And you can be a klutz and smack it in to walls and stuff?).We all hung out on the couch and watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (it's officially fall...we're not THAT early on it), then settled in for our first night with an infant. Somehow exhaustion overcame my oh-my-god-he's-not-going-to-make-it-through-the-night panic and I did actually get a few hours of sleep last night, between multiple meals and diaper changes. Holy crap, my parents had warned me that babies make a lot of noise (even in their sleep), and they weren't kidding! Owen is constantly making little chatty noises. But, thankfully, he doesn't seem to be as bothered by the lack of light and constant noise as most NICU babies are - in fact, he appears to be one darned content kid.

Madison and Paul had mixed reactions. Paul was only mildly interested, then pretty much was like, "yeah it's a baby, life goes on." I think Madison believes we got a new hairless noisy cat. And, she was pretty upset that the bassinet is not hers, because everything in the house is hers. Including the new hairless noisy cat.

Almost there...

Owen's up to 7/8 feeds off the gavage now. Also this week, he passed his hearing test, passed his car seat challenge (doesn't that sound like something on a game show?), passed his first occupational therapist evaluation, and passed a lot of gas. I also am now allowed to non-non-nutritively breastfeed once a day. He does this hilarious ravenous baby thing before he settles in to it - I'd post video but it wouldn't be rated G. Take my word that it's very amusing.

We are incredibly close to taking him home, so it's really frustrating that the doctors continue to say "expect that he'll be home around his due date." Man, that's still three weeks away! So I sort of pushed him on it...the only thing holding him up is eating unassisted, and when I asked the doctor if there's any reason to expect his bottling advancement rate to slow down, he said no. Which, of course, puts him at feeding on his own in the next day or two. Which puts him home next week. To which the doctor replied, again, expect that he'll be home around his due date. The most promising thing I've heard yet was "plan on two more weeks and be pleasantly surprised."

Fingers crossed for a very pleasant surprise in the next few days.

Weekend update

There's not a whole lot of news on the Owen front. He's taking a bottle every 3rd feed now, but that's the only major change since the last post. If he continues to do well, he'll probably be trying every feed through bottle in a couple more days. I'm still waiting on the ok to do non-non-nutritive breastfeeding, or, you know, normal breastfeeding.

We did have a pretty frustrating night over the weekend. The NICU has been a little understaffed anyway, but it was really bad Saturday night. I don't want to put the whole rant down - it gets my blood pressure too high - but it boils down to:

• No security at the door (it's locked, but they were just letting people in without checking wristbands)
• Owen was entirely ignored for hours (including missing scheduled care)
• Owen's nurse had never worked in a NICU before, and hadn't been to this hospital before. This isn't a knock against her, but against all of the people who didn't think to prep her for the evening...or maybe not assign her to a kid who was due for care right when she walked in the door.
• Owen's feed was so late that he went from a little awake and a little hungry, to very awake and very hungry (you know, a good time to be trying to bottle him since his biggest problem is falling asleep while eating), to very awake, very hungry, and very pissed off (ok, now it's going to be difficult to feed him because he's antsy, but we'll make it work), to so pissed off that he wore himself out and fell back asleep, and the feed had to be done through gavage. Oh yeah, did I mention that being able to take all feeds without gavage is his only hurdle to coming home?

Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off. Thankfully, the last couple of nights have been better staffed. I will say though, all the effort they put in to make us feel comfortable that our kid was in good hands was pretty blown in that hour. I know he's in room two and doesn't need as much care, but as my mom put it, if he didn't need medical supervision anymore, he'd be home.

Oh, and to top things off, the espresso maker died the next morning. And the Redskins lost.

It's ok, I have really easy access to adorable baby therapy.

Enjoying a meal from Dad. Also, I don't know what it is, but anytime Adam wears this shirt, he gets his picture taken.

Owen didn't want any more pictures, so neither did I.

Nana makes the best hats.

It's ok, little guy - the Skins'll get 'em next time! (note: I had to crop my boobs out of this picture, because Adam can't be trusted with the camera)

Get used to having your eyes poked...

Owen got his eyes checked yesterday; click here if you want to learn all about retinopathy of prematurity. The good thing is that he passed with flying colors (I think there's no vision pun intended, but maybe there was a little intent). The bad things are that (1) it's impossible to explain the steps of an eye exam to an infant, (2) it's terrifying to watch even a trained professional jab your child's eyes with a stick, and (3) Owen's probably got a lifetime of trained professionals jabbing his eyes with sticks in his future. I guess I'm exaggerating a little, but judging by the genes that went in to this mix, he will be stuck with regular trips to an optometrist, and I'd rank the glaucoma test right up there with a stick in the eye.

I should say "can't expect anything major" more often

Because apparently, jinxing works in both directions.

Last night, Owen got his very first bottle feed. The nurse started him off so that she could show us all the little things that years worth of NICU experience will teach you - of course, the one she can't teach us is the incredible confidence and comfort the nurses have when handling the babies. We still feel like he should have "FRAGILE" stamped all over him, and the nurses fling 'em around like they're tossing pizza dough or something.

Anyway.

I took over after his nurse was confident that he was taking to it well enough. He did a full third of his feed last night through bottle - the nurses don't like going over 30 minutes by bottle because then the babies are just burning calories - but that's really good work for his first time. He's only so-so at pacing himself, mostly because he suddenly decides that milk is too awesome to bother pausing for breath (an aside...I was suddenly reminded about a certain cousin who feels like most activities are too awesome to bother pausing to go to the bathroom. I guess this is Owen's future as well). He's going to be on the bottle at least once a day; I imagine that number will go up once he's able to complete a feed and/or exert a little patience with that whole breathing thing.

We were too excited to remember to take pictures of this event, but in consolation, here's Adam trying to wear Owen's Packers hat. Owen was not amused.

I can't lift anything heavier than my baby

Doctor's orders, for a couple more weeks. But at this rate, I'll be allowed to lift 6 pounds next week. That's right, we are solidly over the five pound mark and gaining steadily. And, I've been slow to report, Owen's graduated to room two. It is noisy in there! That's what happens when you're in the room where all the babies know how to breathe.

Other than that, there's generally not much to report. That's pretty much what we can expect for a while longer, though. In the meantime, pictures.

Adam has apologized profusely to Owen for gifting him with these cowlicks.

Dressed up for the fins...apparently he was bad luck, though. We tried clapping his hands together and saying "we believe in dolphins", but I guess that only works for fairies.

Check out the new digs!

I've been reluctant to post this update because it didn't last very long last time it happened...but it appears that Owen is fully upgraded to a big boy crib. They tried it once before but his temp dropped too much overnight and he had to be moved back in to the Giraffe. It's flippin' cold in the NICU at night though, so I can't really fault him for it. But, he's been back in the crib now for a couple of days, so I feel comfortable that I won't jinx him by letting everyone know.

The only big boy crib in the NICU currently!

Proof that there's an Owen under all of that.

 Also, and I'm knocking on wood as I type this, Owen has gained weight for two nights in a row now, has minimal residuals, no spit up, and is no longer on continuous feed (that's a good thing). We started non-nutritive breast feeding yesterday - it's sort of a practice run for the real thing, with a minimal chance for aspirating - and he took to it really well. And it entirely knocked him out. Nothing quite like a boob to put a guy to sleep.

It's been a busy week for visitors, too. Owen's now met all his grandparents (we're still waiting for him to fill out the scorecard). I'm a bonehead and forgot to give Adam the camera last night while he was visiting with his parents, but I do at least have some shots with my dad.

Chillin' with Granddad.

Showing Granddad how poorly his hats fit. And, soaking in the comfort of an LA Stanley Cup champions shirt. Owen slept through that game, but thankfully my dad still has it on the dvr. I'm thinking of getting a transcript of the game's announcing so I can read it to him as a bedtime story.

It's a weird thing, grief (K)

Keira finally came home yesterday. It's painful, but there was some peace to be found in not having that looming over us anymore. I'm not sure what presentation could possibly have been better, but there was something so absurd about having my daughter's ashes handed to me in a gift bag. I'm not sure if it's me cracking a little or healing, but that started my turn towards my (ab)normal reaction to tragedy, which is this weird form of dark humor. There have been a lot of tears already and I know there are many yet to come, and as badly as I wish that I could hear her giggle back at me, it does feel good to be able to laugh.

A Peaceful Night in the NICU

It was very busy when we first showed up last night - there's three new babies, and everyone was visiting at once. Finally, people began to trickle out and nurses started on their breaks, leaving the NICU adults eventually as just Adam, me, and Owen's nurse Esil (she's one of our favorites). Adam was holding a very peacefully sleeping Owen and starting to doze a little himself, Esil was charting, and I was working on Owen's blanket. All in all, a very peaceful setting.

And then Owen had the most explosive poop I've ever heard. My kid cracks me up.

Owen Wears Many Hats

Literally. It's pretty chilly in the NICU, so cuddle time also means hat time. Somehow, this 9-weeks-too-early munchkin already has a noggin that's too big for a couple of his hats...but the other hats we have for him are 6+ months, so they're enormous on him.

It looks close to USC colors, but don't worry - it's definitely orange. Just bad lighting. We would never subject our son to USC colors.

This should be video so you could watch the hat slowly squeezing up and popping off his head.

I just love this pose.

One seriously over-sized hat.

We give up on the hat and he becomes a news anchor. Look how he's holding his ear - it's like, "this just in! I pooped!"

Owen is doing really, really well. He's back out from his short dose of bili lights, only hooked up to monitors and a feeding line (so no more IV's/PICC lines), and up to "full" feeds - 20 times his current weight in kilograms, in mL (so since he's 2 kg now, he gets 40 mL every three hours). He's gaining weight so consistently that the nurses don't even trust the scale. We've probably got another week of the "grower/feeder" stage before we can start trying to get him to bottle or breast feed, but we will likely start non-nutritive breast feeding in the near future - it's essentially a practice run to get him used to the idea without any risk of aspirating. And, he might get to switch from the isolette to a normal bassinet in the near future. Always moving in the right direction!

I Shall Call Him...Mini Me

Adam's over his vaccine side effects, so it was his turn to snuggle today. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I got to snuggle for a solid three hours yesterday? At first, Owen was a little pissy about being handled but then you could see him processing - "wait...I know these people...I'm pretty comfortable...zzzzzzzzz". Owen did go a little easier on Adam than on me - snoozed peacefully the whole time, as opposed to with me where he buried his face in my chest almost to the point of smothering himself and dug in when the nurse tried to reposition him. Then, he was all "whip my hair back and forth" to make it look like I wasn't trying as hard as possible to support his head.

Exciting stuff today. They removed the nasal cannula right before we left this afternoon and he's breathing entirely on his own, and he's up to 5 cc's of breastmilk every 3 hours. They'll just keep upping the amount as long as he continues to tolerate it well. He is back under the bili lights for a bit, but the doc explained that it's far more effective once you're actually eating so that you can pass the extra bilirubin in your stool (it wouldn't be a baby blog if there wasn't poop or pee mentioned).

Now for your viewing pleasure, an extremely proud dad and one content baby.

Maybe breathing is for cool kids, after all

Owen's off the vent!!! He's just got a nasal cannula now, and boy is he good at pulling it out. I think he's even got the idea that he's not supposed to, because he tries to get all sneaky about it...he stretches his arms out and then grabs the tubing on his way down like a cheesy date at a movie theater trying to put his arm around you. Then, when the cannula goes back in, he gets little sneezing fits. Other good news - his heart murmur is entirely gone.

We may get to hold him tomorrow - fingers crossed. Adam's a little sick from his TDAP shot yesterday (btw, if you plan on visiting for any length of time, I will insist on you having a whooping cough vaccine) so he's been booted from the NICU until 24 hours after his fever goes down, which hopefully is like...right now. As long as he can't visit Owen though, I'll be taking an extra crazy amount of pictures and video, so I guess you all benefit from Adam feeling under the weather.

I'd say he looks a lot happier off the vent - what do you think?

 

Oh. My. Gah. That is one handsome kid.

Fingers are delicious.

I know babies aren't supposed to be able to smile, but that sure looks like one content kid.

 

Hiccups!

 

Keep an eye out for a good eyebrow raise at the end.

Sorry, bandwidth, I know.

Doing things in order is for squares

I think I already mentioned that there are three milestones for Owen before he can come home - temperature regulation (check), unassisted breathing (almost check), and eating (not sure yet, but more on that in a minute). This isn't quite the normal list of milestones like picking up your head (first month - keep in mind that Owen's "first month" should technically start in October) and rolling over (fourth month).

Well, whoever set those dates didn't check with Owen first. If those pesky NICU nurses aren't going to roll him over when he wants to be rolled over, then dammit, he's going to do it himself. And who cares if it makes him desat and the alarms go off and the nurses and respiratory therapists have mini heart attacks, oh and his mom goes in to a little panic too - at least he's facing the direction he wanted. I'm trying really, really hard to convince him that it's ok to do the breathing milestone prior to the rolling one.

The coolest thing was that last night, Adam and I got to feed him a little. Just a q-tip soaked in milk, but it was really wonderful, and it looked like Owen really enjoyed it.

Let's see, what else happened yesterday...he's out from the lights, and he pooped!

In other news, I'm a really heavy sleeper, and if I don't set an alarm to pump in the middle of the night then I will have to do laundry in the morning...

Also, just a heads up - I'm going to post stuff about Keira here and there, but I know that it's sad and it's far more fun to look at pictures of Owen. It's good to talk about her though. Anything that's going to have Keira material in it, I'll put a (K) in the title so if you're not feeling up to it, you can skip it.

Ok, fun pictures.

Getting a tan and holding Dad's finger

And this is all we could think of with that little eye mask...

Doesn't it look like he just dove in to bed here? This is mid I-don't-want-to-be-facing-this-way tantrum.

Ohmygosh, cranky face.

Holding Mom's (puffy) hand

Not letting go of Mom's (puffy) pinky.

Well hello!

Picture Post!

Fresh after delivery. He looks thoughtful - "hm, wasn't it darker a minute ago?" Or maybe it's, "who's my next pee target?" (It was the respiratory therapist yesterday, by the way. And apparently a hell of a shot)

 Bonding with Nana.

 

 He's like, a 4.5 pound version of Adam. With Weeks feet (not shown, the weak hearted can't handle Weeks feet images).

He's under the UV lights right now, but once he's out I'll get some video up of his little eyebrows. He is cute in his little eye mask though, and all this time in the tanning bed is going to make him tanner than his dad without ever having been outside!